I’m not happy all the time. I’m not fun all the time. People forget what I’ve gone through because I don’t allow them to remember. I just don’t bring it up.
Other peoples lives go on without me and that’s fine, I’m not fighting it.
I close my business, I leave my church, I’m in the process of sorting through the friends who really care about me, the “friends” that I despise ideologically, and those who take advantage of me. I’m trying to clean out everything toxic in my life. But I’ve stopped lifting, I eat basically nothing, and I’m angry. I’m always angry and I’m always sad. I put on a good face, though. I don’t want to dampen the lives of others. Why ruin a beautiful smile?